


i hate thinking about you (so constant like i could never be lonely)

by subtlyhaught



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, Underage Drinking, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 22:27:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16669531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subtlyhaught/pseuds/subtlyhaught
Summary: Audrey was straight.Jane was not. And she liked Audrey. Which complicated things a bit.





	i hate thinking about you (so constant like i could never be lonely)

**Author's Note:**

> This is really heavily focused on Audrey and Jane. Follows canon for the most part oof.

Audrey was straight.

Jane knew that. At least, the logical, sensible part of her knew that. Audrey liked boys. Audrey liked _Ben._ And Jane couldn't blame her. Ben was a great guy; he was obnoxiously sweet, generous, the kind of guy that never forgot your birthday. Hell, if Jane were straight, _she'd_ probably like Ben too.

But the problem was, she was definitely, very much, irrevocably _not_ straight.

And she liked Audrey. Which made everything worse, for obvious reasons.

She and Audrey had been friends since they could tie bows in their hair - which was to say, a _long_ time. Jane had photos up in her room that proved as much; the toothy grin of two five year olds, ice cream smeared all over their faces. A group photo of herself, Audrey, Ben, Chad and Lonnie just after graduating from Auradons royal middle school. An out of focus shot of Audrey in her dress for their first cotillion. Memories upon memories adorned the light blue walls of her side of the dorm room, a constant reminder of what she and Audrey were, and what they weren't.

Because Audrey was straight, and she liked Ben.

-

So as it turns out, Audrey wasn't straight.

She still liked Ben, that part hadn't changed. The issue there was more Ben didn't like her.

Jane knew as much - hell, probably everyone except Audrey knew as much. Mal certainly did, probably from the moment she had stepped out the limo, when first _Benny-_ _ _boo__ was uttered. Mal knew this was a relationship Ben did not want. And Ben knew that too.

Because Ben wanted Mal.

And Jane? Jane still wanted Audrey, even as she drug Chad Charming onto the bleachers for an announcement made of pure revenge.

But back to how Audrey wasn't straight.

As it turns out, the whole Chad thing was a ruse. It lasted a night, maybe two, but then Audrey was single again, and sad, and vulnerable. Going through two guys one after another, rebound or not, revealed itself to be pretty damn emotionally draining. And Audrey dealt with being emotionally drained in the only way she knew how: a bottle of vodka and some lemonade.

"He's not even that cute," she was slurring, gesturing grandly with the bottle of vodka that she got _god_ knows where.

"Which one?" Jane responded, laying down on her stomach beside her brunette friend, content to just watch instead of partake.

"Hell, _both_ of them,"

Jane laughed, nodding. Her eyes were trained on Audrey's, her own icy blue meeting earthy brown, and suddenly she felt a blush adorn her cheeks and she was very conscious of her movements. She ducked her head a bit, avoiding Audrey's gaze, and tucked a strand of her new Mal Magic hair behind her ear, because honestly, anything was better than looking Audrey in the face right now.

But then there was a hand on her wrist, and one under her chin, and Jane's head was being tilted back and-

Audrey was kissing her.

It was almost weird, what with the suddenness of it all, but that didn't stop Jane from kissing back. This was it, this was what she wanted, this was what she had craved since her first cotillion with Audrey.

So why did she feel so damn _guilty_ about it?

Jane broke away first, pressing a hand to Audreys shoulder to keep her at bay. Her breaths were harsh and heavy, and the electricity in the air was almost tangible.

And there was Audrey, face flush, eyes half lidded, a certain hunger in them Jane didn't know if she liked.

"You're drunk," she breathed, but even as she said it, she could feel her walls tumbling away.

"I'm not," Audrey said, leaning against the hand on her shoulder. "I'm not. You're just beautiful."

And god, was Jane weak for those words.

-

So, maybe Audrey wasn't straight.

Because she had been calling Jane her girlfriend for three weeks now, and there had been kisses, and touches, and words, and most days, Jane couldn't leave the dorm without a scarf.

And it was great, except for the part where it kind of wasn't.

Audrey was sort of mean. She paraded Jane around like she was some new limited edition Prada purse, showing her off to the highest bidders, just waiting for their _oohs_ and _ahhs._ And it was awful, if Jane was being honest.

Sometimes, Audrey snapped at her for not being vicious enough. She was too soft, Audrey'd tell her. She was a pushover, a welcome mat, a free sample in a store full of priced items. She'd have to learn to be ruthless, to be cold, to be more like Audrey. Or else there would be no more relationship at all.

And Jane knew it was toxic. She knew it was. Relationships weren't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be loving, and nurturing, and more like what Ben and Mal had. (Or what Evie and Mal were going to have, Jane wasn't blind.) And if she were being honest, yeah, Jane had almost walked away a few times.

But then Audrey was calling her an angel, a beauty, her own diamond piece, and Jane would get pulled back in.

After all, that's all she ever wanted to hear, and the fear of losing that was stronger than the fear of what would happen if she stayed.

So she became meaner, throwing jibes at passersby, sneering at her friends, even turning her nose up at her mum. Because its what Audrey wanted. Because if she didn't, Audrey would leave her. If she didn't, she wouldn't be beautiful.

And then she made a dig at Mal, and Mal reversed her hair spell, and Audrey left her anyway.

The aftermath was awful. Audrey requested a dorm change, so Jane was moved to a single. She was always crying, always looking to people for love, for praise.

Until she found it in the corner of the school library.

Li Lonnie had slid down onto the floor, settling in comfortably beside Jane, who was furiously swiping at the tears on her face. She was patient, waiting until Jane's first shuddering breath to speak. "What's going on, junior fairy?"

Jane sniffed loudly, pressing her hands into her eyes. "You know, the usual," she breathed, voice loud but watery. "I've got no friends, my girlfriend left me, I'm ugly."

A pause. "Who's ugly?"

"I am."

Lonnie frowned, and made a show of squinting with her hand to her eyes, making it appear like she was searching for something. "I don't see anyone in this vicinity that could qualify as ugly."

And Jane laughed. A full, throaty but amused laugh. And Lonnie was smiling at her like she had hung the stars, or the moon, or the sun, honestly Jane didn't care, as long as it didn't stop.

Because it made her feel beautiful, in a way Audrey never had.

**Author's Note:**

> On tumblr @ i-said-oops and Instagram as @ eviesgrimhilde


End file.
